Girls should come with a carfax report
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
