Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
