Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize