i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
