i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
