That's intense
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
