She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
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After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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