I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My vagina just clenched in fear
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
