grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize