Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
