what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
