we have officially lost it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
