I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
