Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize