I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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