yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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