I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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