Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
