Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
