I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
