You smell like a Billy Joel song
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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