Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think I won the penis lottery.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize