So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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