The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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