You just made me feel so damn special
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
