I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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