apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
