pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
