your parents love me but you hate me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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