Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
