It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So many bounce houses so little time
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
