Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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