Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
