I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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