Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
