i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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