I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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