i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
