I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize