i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
