Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize