I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
