Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize