hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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