people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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