there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
