why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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