she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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