i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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