Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
