my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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