sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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