help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
