why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
