Do you still have your period?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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